So, I’ve been really struggling recently. Everything has gotten so much worse and I’ve been concentrating on just continuing to breathe.
My work has been truly horrible, my manager was bullying me: belittling my work, making me do ridiculous hours without breaks and generally making my life incredibly difficult. However, my manager’s bosses have realised how truly miserable I have been and how hard I have been trying and have decided, given my manager’s history (two people quitting because of her within the last year) that I should not have to report to her anymore. Suddenly I am enjoying work so much more. I am not under this huge amount of pressure and I am actually getting praise for my work. It is such a nice change. The lead of my account actually told me that he had noticed such a difference in me since the change, saying ”It is like you are a different person”. I am very impressed by the support I am now receiving from work and I hope my experience makes them consider that there may be a deeper issue with this employee, because I would hate for someone else to have to go through the same treatment as I have. Currently my work situation is only a bandaid solution but a little relief from how badly I was doing is an extremely welcome change. I know I am in need of major help but I am also more willing to seek it now. I am on the list for a psychiatrist and a new counsellor. I have an appointment with my dietician next week and whilst she won’t be pleased with my eating , she will be proud of the steps I am taking to cope, which will hopefully effect my eating further down the track!
I am also really trying to be more sociable, this is something I struggle with terribly. I am extremely anxious meeting new people or even making arrangements to catch up with friends but I have been forcing myself to see people again, even to talk to friends about real issues. It is amazing how much it helps!
So, part of the reason for this post is to explain that I am planning to get back into participating in the Tumblr community again. Sharing and talking really really makes a difference and if I can help myself and others then we will all be better off.
Please contact me. I have a lot more time available now and I really want to hear from you guys. I hope everyone is still putting up their best fight. I look forward to hearing from you all.